I’m cold I’m hungry
I’m alone , I’ve done that many Embarrassing ,Regretfull Shamefull Retarded things that you couldn’t imagine.
One minquite I love my life next minute the ill thoughts come back.
I was raped when I was a child.
I got into drugs
Got myself in an abusive relationship.
Got off drugs
Been in the hospital once already for Overdose and trying to kill myself .
Its always one refuge after the other.
My mum hates me.
My dad is messed up.
Noone likes me and my reputation is so bad I might as well kill myself .
I’ve had a miscarriage
My partner is always in and out of jail
And I don’t know how much longer I can do this for.
I already struggle to support myself
I’m a mess, a freak and a loser
I want to die, but I’m scared to die(I know I sound stupid but it’s a horrible feeling, I’ve overdosed for )
I have nothing to live for.
I’m a freak of nature.
I’m a nobody
I’m scared and I’m alone
I want to end all this pain and suffering once and for all.
I’m sick of crying all the time,living on the streets all the time, getting flashbacks of rape.
It hurts. I can’t live like this anymore
I want to take myself away
I need to get away
I need to escape
I wanna see a better day
I need to eat
I need to sleep
But I can’t, I feel so weak
I want to be free
I just want to be happy
Just let me be
This illness has a hold of me
Its making me insane
All I feel is pain, I’ve got nothing to gain
I’m a train wrek
I’m a mess
I’m insane I confess
But I’m not at my best
I just need my control back
I need the love you lacked
I need you to want me back
Why you make me so sad
I’m going back to being bad
Whore is all I am
And drugs is all I know
This anger I have towards you is just so intense. I just have to look at your deceiving eyes and I want to rip your eyeballs out. You don’t deserve to see. I can listen to you start to talk lies through your teeth.and I want to stab your tongue out. You don’t deserve to speak. You only listened to me when you wanted to. So I want to chop your ears off from left to right. Listening to you breath deep and heavily through your nose in your sleep annoys me as you don’t deserve to breathe the air I breathe.and I want to gladwrap York face so tight,I won’t hear you breath ever again. This is my life now. Your going to be my puppet now. And all your worst night mares are going to come true. Why would you leave me? Why did you hurt me ? Well it’s your turn now to be punished and when I punish you before you can apologise your b in your grave,if you make it that far
I’m going to be satisfied
i can’t sleep, all i do is think, about all the bad flash backs, and memories of you and i, i think about how much you hurt me, but how much i want you to hurt me again, i miss it, you literly make my heart ache, its a strange feeling
and knowing that only you can do this. i fell madly in love with him and throughout the whole relationship he treated me like an object and a joke. he undermined me, critisized me, devaluated me, diminished me, mimicked me, mocked me,violated me, harrased me, stole off me, intimidated me, lied from me, abused me, and devoured me. it hurts my aching heart just thinking about him.i feel like the tourcher traumatised me, but the ****** thing is i am madly in love with him. im in love with his pain, and charm. its like im yearning for him. all the psychological abuse has messed with my brain leaving me so unstable. and being off all drugs for a year and 6 months brings back ALL the memories.i dont know if its the serouquel messing with my mood, because i abuse the drug. i get emotional reaction i get headaches out bursts of crying etc. at this piont i feel like im relapsing i need to escape this memory. its haunting me but i want him so bad. its taking control of my life to the point where im going insane with out him. ive seriously lost who i am. my emotions are wild.i cant relate to anyone. none understands me.i hate myself